i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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