Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
