I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so that wasnt chicken after all
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
