so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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