Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
