Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
