I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
