you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
