she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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