Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Everyone says I win the strip club
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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