This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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