found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
