Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
