No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
