Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
