Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
