don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
