Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
