bring money and cleavage
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
