2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
