where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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