my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
