Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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