xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
