saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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