I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
