you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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