Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
