i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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