the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he shaved USA in his pubs
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
