you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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