Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
