I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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