Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
