wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
