never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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