Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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