I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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