People in love make me want to vomit
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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