When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
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