hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is it because I queefed?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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