So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
