Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I cut my penus on the lid.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
sex in a hospital.. check
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
