why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
