what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize