I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
