Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
