so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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