I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
