Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
