I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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