I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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