Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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