fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
it glows. i had to have it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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