just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
