He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
