is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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