i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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