i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
