I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
