1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
