The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
nutella sex= disaster
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize