the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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