11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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