His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There r osticjed everywhere
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
