Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
