I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
