Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
