So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
